For the record, I didn’t say that I resent the idea that others may feel that I used them. I resent the accusation that I was using others. It may seem like a fine point, but there is a difference. The first would be a private matter between myself and the wronged party. The second is impugning my character.

A different angle of rebounding (or duck all over the place) that wasn’t touched on because Elan isn’t facing this; are the people that use that emotional and mental weakness to take advantage said person.
Again, the less organized your ducks … the greater risk of being used as well.

As a society, we have also undermined our hard-wired nature to be social creatures. Instead of working as groups and relying on each other in social settings; we are now taught from an early age to be independent, self-reliant, to not anybody. We are told to need someone in your life is a weakness, a lack of self love. Add TECH where most people keep their nose buried in a screen and NOBODY ever gives you their undivided attention anymore … the list goes on.
We are no longer people that live in neighborhoods where everyone knows each other by name and can borrow a cup of sugar. Nope, instead we are a bunch of INDIVIDUALS stacked in rows next to and on top of each bouncing around each other in our little bubbles ignoring most of those around us.

From you comments you seem a lot like me. I tend to put more stock and have more need for intimacy (from hugging to sexual) than most people around me (if it wasn’t for the fact I CAN work and maintain friendships I would worry it was an addiction). While we are social animals … even at our best, the norm is that the VAST MAJORITY of those connections are PLATONIC friendships, acquaintances, work relations. Sex and intimacy are something the VAST MAJORITY don’t just practice at random.
Even in history, the concept of FREE LOVE and polygamy have been limited to smaller portions of the general population that the rest envied, ridiculed or put up with.

The vast majority of cultures and social rules, people have more often than not leaned towards and do better with long term pairings and limiting their sexual encounters. That seems to be base line and rule of nature.
Laws can’t be broken, rules on the other hand … there is always the exception to the rule. We don’t follow the base line, nothing wrong with that … but not following it, not understanding it, not agreeing with it, doesn’t change the fact that his how the BIG machine works.

Even with alternative lifestyles (LGBT) … the majority of them lean to pairing of as couples (albeit, you tend to see more short term than long term – but it’s still one on one … one person at a time). As with straight mono couples, the more ducks one has in a room, on the shelf and organized, the longer, the happier and the healthier those couplings tend to be.

While we seem to be on two sides of the coin, I do appreciate anyone that can have civil, intelligent discourse.

I have no doubt that I hurt people along the way. After all, I got hurt plenty myself. I was always honest and upfront about what I was offering and I did others the honor of assuming that they could make their own grown-up decisions. But loving someone means exposing your vulnerable bits and we aren’t always as gentle as we’d like to be. I do rather resent the accusation that I was using anyone, though. I was (and still am) a flawed human person engaging with other flawed human persons. Joy and sorrow, selfishness and selflessness, kindness and cruelty are just part of life and love. I acted with as much good faith, self-awareness, and generosity as I could muster on any given day and accepted anyone I was with was doing the same. And I never once stopped to question whether or not I was wise to love somebody who had just broken up with someone.

I am convinced that we don’t make nearly as many rational decisions as we think. Our logical forebrains are far too busy thinking up good reasons for doing what the other parts of our brains have already reached consensus on to have time to do much else.

We are all just big, bumbling messes. What makes us beautiful is that we can love each other, anyway.