Chapter 31 – Say It Out Loud: Page 9

Chapter 31 - Say it out loud: Page 9

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  • Elan can sense the bounce of Rafa’s hair bun????

    Everyone always says the North Star/Polaris is the brightest star in the sky, but I have never found it when looking for it.

    • camelotcrusade

      It’s the only man bun I’ve ever looked forward to, so I kind of get it.

  • kuku

    Murakami is happy with astronomical trivia as long as Elan’s there…

  • Jeldenil

    Normally I’m able to follow Elan’s thoughts. Now, not so much.

    • kuku

      Well, he’s trying to use random facts to distract himself from thoughts he doesn’t want to have, so it’s a bit jumbled…

      • Jonni

        And the feelings he doesn’t want to have either.

  • Red

    I think I can follow you Mice. Actually I can relate a lot to Elan, even now. I feel him. Kind of a “been there” feeling for me…

  • bronakopdin

    oh dear poor Elan… I wanna hug him so bad!!!

    on another note @themice:disqus , I think there is a word too much!
    in the sentence:
    “but even if I thoguht about THE IT, much less said it out loud, the truth still consumed me.”

    I guess you originally wanted to put THE TRUTH there and then settled for IT and putting TRUTH at the end but forgot to delete the THE in the first half?
    It should be only thought aboit IT, right?

  • camelotcrusade

    Third bullet, barely legible through eraser marks: I can confirm the male G-spot exists.

    • Jonni

      It’s a circular depression just below the prostate. Sorry, I couldn’t resist.

  • It took a while to respond to this page as I was in a similar state to Elan. The page hit home for me, hard. He is having a panic attack, possibly as a result of PTSD. There are different ways to express panic. Some are more vocal and dramatic while those of us who suppress any outward sign that might attract unwanted attention fixate on a private hell of harried, random thoughts. I run and hide if there is a chance that someone might see the moment of weakness. Mouse, you depicted this so well, so accurately, that you’ve had to have endured something similar or had a close friend or family member who did. I appreciate your effort beyond anything I can convey with limited words. It is so rare to find something that relates to the private hell I endure. I don’t feel so alone right now. I have a thought about what Rafa should do.

    Some might say to give Elan his space and let him calm down. There is evidence to support this as a wise decision. Alas, I do not agree in this instance. Rafa occupies a unique place in Elan’s life. Rafa is Elan’s lion. He is lover and protector. Elan NEEDS for Rafa to get to him, to hold him and bodily shield him until the panic eases. Elan might resist but that is because to date he has handled this alone. He trusts no one to be there for him in this moment of crisis. This is a critical moment in the relationship of Elan and Rafa. Elan needs his gallant knight to ride to the rescue, damn the consequences. Otherwise he will continue to shut Rafa out and their relationship will suffer for that intrinsic lack of trust.

    Thank you for sharing this page with the public, Mouse. I don’t feel so alone anymore.

    • Bruno Senra

      That’s beautiful, Donald, I’m glad you feel that way now and that you were able to move on. Hugs!

    • Jonni

      I hear you.

      • I appreciate your words more than I can say, thank you. I forced myself to be open and honest about it as a way to heal. It’s scary as hell, but if my words comfort one person then it is worth while.

        • Jonni

          I’m glad for both of us, and I alway enjoy it when you wax lyrical, you do it so well.